17.06.11: Der Hund [almost] trinke Apfelsaft
Before I came to Berlin, I spent a lot of time watching German children’s programmes on YouTube. This had both a positive and negative impact on my progress: positive, in that it was a fun and simple way to learn vocabulary and basic grammar, negative in that – well – the kind of vocabulary and basic grammar you learned was probably not the most practical.
“How’s your German coming along?” my friend’s mother asked me a few weeks prior to my departure.
“Great!” I responded. “I know how to say ‘the dog drinks apple juice’!”
“That will come in really handy.” She tried to give me an encouraging smile, but unfortunately the sarcasm was too strong to go unnoticed.
I, however, was not to be deterred. I decided then and there to make it my goal in Germany to get myself into a situation in which I would need to use the phrase in its entirety.
What I was not prepared for was the likelihood of the situation falling straight into my lap – on a day when I was entirely unsuspecting of it.
Yesterday afternoon I found myself in a quaint cafe on Frankfurter Allee with my laptop doing some job hunting. I had just finished texting my friend in London with an: “It’s so hot today! I’m really thirsty. Off to get some Apfelsaft!” and chuckling to myself, thinking of the word, which had become humourous to me ever since setting myself the supposedly unattainable challenge. Little did I know that shortly after I had ordered my drink, a lady would walk in and take a seat at the table next to me, followed by her dog.
I carried on typing for a few moments, not really thinking anything of it. Then, before I knew what was happening, the dog sauntered over to me.
“Hallo,” I told it, reaching down to stroke its fur. It sat there at my feet, sniffing around the tiles. So caught up was I in the moment – there is nothing so charming as a friendly dog – that I forgot about my Apfelsaft, and the fact that there was a dog within thirty centimetres of it. It wasn’t until the dog sauntered away that it occurred to me.
This was my chance. This may be my one and only chance.
“Psst,” I whispered to the dog, causing the owner to look up.
I gave her a warm smile as though I had done nothing. She smiled back.
The dog looked up at me. I beckoned to it discreetly under the table.
It didn’t come.
“Apfelsaft,” I hissed, holding up my glass. “Would you like some?”
The dog stared.
The owner looked up again. I put my glass down abruptly. “Ich liebe die Hunde,” I felt it necessary to attempt. She seemed to understand and replied instantly, though I had no idea what it was she was saying. I smiled and nodded as though I did.
My chance had passed. I would have to find another dog, in the vicinity of another glass of apple juice.
An hour later, I packed up my things. “Tschüss,” I said to the dog on my way out the door, a bit dejectedly.
“Tschüss,” replied the owner, waving.
Good thing I now know a few more practical phrases.
I think you need to learn how to say ‘Il pleut comme vache qui pisse’ in German. I’ve had multiple occasions to use that one, and will only have more when I move to Brussels, as it’s apparently quite a rainy city. Maybe I should also learn how to say ‘The dog drinks apple juice’ in French, and we can compete as to who gets to use it in the right context first…
Hahaha, I need to discover whether there is a similar phrase in German and start using it – it’s been raining like mad these past few days! YES: let’s see who can find an apple-juice-drinking dog first and declare it – the first one to do so wins…a bottle of apple juice!